Deep Breaths

perfect day to wake up to

It’s my favorite month in Colorado and I am happy it is finally here.  September ended a bit frazzled.  Between the washing machine flooding our apartment, my new Nikon camera breaking while cleaning it, and beginning my first week of a strict detox, I found little energy or motivation to do much else but get through work and take care of the necessities.   But now the mid afternoon caffeine headaches have subsided, the washing machine is back to its normal duties (word to the wise: one little bobby pin can put a literal damper on the rest of your day…so check those pockets!), and my camera is en route to be fixed (fingers crossed insurance covers it).  In retrospect both bumps were very small in the road of life, and a reminded myself to remain calm when things don’t go as planned.  I need to practice patience when it comes to expectations, and not let a soggy apartment or fuzzy photos dictate my mood.   I’ll give you a glimpse at how I handled discovering my camera, the one I bought for blogging and photo journaling, had perhaps met its demise after a very short life around my neck.  My boyfriend and I plan a day trip to Estes Park to celebrate the first day of October, and to get out of town together.  I have been so excited to capture fall in Colorado, with burning gold leaves engulfing the mountainsides, the aspen leaves glittering and dancing in the canyon air against crisp bright bluebird skies. I was pumped to capture pumpkins on porches and Halloween decorations as they popped up in neighborhoods around town.  So before getting ready to head out I took a moment to clean the lens of my camera, during which I somehow managed to drop the main lens about 6″ from the table. A moment without breathing, a quick look over, no apparent damage done, sigh.  With the camera safely back in its bag we hit the road, windows down, spirits high, and dog in tow.  It was going to be a fabulous little day trip.   As we winded up into the Rockies every glimpse, turn, and view was breath-taking. Early into our drive I pulled over to grab a few shots where the river ran close to the road and sparkled with the sun, carrying yellow leaves down stream. Ready, aim, shoot…shoot…shoot… no picture, no click, no focus.  Well, I quickly lost it, and after several trouble shooting attempts realized the problem was beyond us.  The rest of the trip was spent through blurry eyes, and teary, mumbled “its sooo pretty shiffle, bohoo, sob sob” and so on.  Not a proud moment, but disappointment and frustration can bring the worst out in me.  I’d like to blame it on a week of caffeine deprivation but truth is I just struggle with these emotions.  The day wasn’t all ruined, but the ideal fall day in Estes did not plan out as picturesque as I had hoped, and my reaction to the camera’s still unknown problems, only made the day less enjoyable.

Getting home that evening, I was forced to remind myself how fortunate I am, that this is only a glitch, and that in life there will be many more, some smaller, some much bigger, but no matter the size, I must learn to move over the obstacles rather than push against them, resisting the unavoidable and unchangeable.  This time it was just my fixable, replaceable, camera, and this too shall pass.

It’s a new week, and Colorado still has two weeks before trees are bare and the air bites, so instead of mourning the loss of picture taking this fall, I will embrace the season as I did every year before the Nikon, through art, writing, bike rides, hearty meals, wonderful friends and now, blogging.  Perhaps not having my camera will prove a blessing in disguise and I will get to explore more ways of sharing via this blog space.  I have been a bit stuck and detoured from posting in the last week, but like going to the gym you just gotta keep it up, even if you need to switch up your routine and approach.

Thank you for reading♥

outside our bedroom window

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